I hate when people apologize for not updating, so I'm not going to do that. Instead, I'm going to tell you all the things that I have been busy doing since my last update almost 2 years ago. I've been busy - VERY busy:
FEBRUARY 2016 - AUGUST 2016
From October, 2015 through June, 2016, I traveled back and forth, once a month to visit the "boy" that I knew from 8th grade. We spent countless hours on the phone and exchanged a bazillion texts. The last I posted, he met my sons over Thanksgiving and Christmas and they grew to like him. I met his parents, his sons (ages 20 something and 17), his ex-wife (yep his EX wife), and spent time with is Aunt in Houston. It was a stressful but exciting and fun time. The Lobster, as I called him (Friends reference where Phoebe calls Ross, Rachel's lobster), came out to stay with me and the boys in July, 2016.
In July we hung out with friends - his friends from high school, who as it turns out, knew me but I didn't really know them. I reconnected with people I went to high school with, but never befriended because I was so intent on "getting through" high school and running away to college. One of those people I grew close (Jay) to was dating Lobster's friend from high school (S). Seriously, it was like a reunion of sorts or what I think taking part in high school social activities was like. So Lobster's high school friend broke up with Jay. It was a very bad break up and somehow Jay decided to tell me all the gory details from her point of view and S told me the gory details from his point of view. It was not fun.
And, in the middle of all this, Lobster moved in to live with me and my boys. He packed up all his belongings and moved up north - 4 states away from his home in a southern state. We have a picture of the moving van driving away. It was very surreal. The 2016-2017 school year started off with my boys returning to their private school where we would be dealing with bullies that the school would not protect my youngest from and a new cat and adult in our home. I also had left my job at XYZ company to go work for ABC company.
SEPTEMBER 2016 - ENGAGEMENT
Just as we were settling into the new school year, Lobster proposed. YEP - PROPOSED. And, I accepted. I will be Mrs. Lobster...one day. We set the date for 2019 (originally 2018), but life has a funny way of getting in the way.
We picked the date in 2018 and picked a venue and also put down a deposit, but Fall, 2018 at the time was very far away and the next few months brought about even more changes.
OCTOBER 2016 - FEBRUARY 2017
Between the Minion and Day of the Dead pumpkins that were painted in October and the inflatable turkey we displayed outside to the Christmas tree and Christmas decorations, Lobster and I decided that the house I owned with my ex needed to be decluttered and repaired. There were still parts of the house that needed to be repaired because the ex started projects prior to 2012 and never finished. Repairs like the bar in the basement he tore out as well as the ceiling in the basement that he was going to fix. Plus, the master bedroom closet that he swore he would renovate and started demolition, but never finished. I left my new job at ABC company to go back to XYZ company.
In January, Lobster and I started decluttering the basement and filled a very large dumpster. By February, the repairs were completed and the basement was fully decluttered and a second very large dumpster was filled. The garage was also decluttered and bathrooms and bedrooms were painted. And, just like * that *, I decided that it was time to put the house that I owned with my ex on the market.
MARCH 2017 - MAY 2017
The house was listed on the market after some arguing with the ex, who did not want me to sell it and who wanted things to stay exactly the same (i.e, I stay in the house and pay the mortgage and maintenance, the boys continue to go to a school that they did not like, and the ex lives with his parents - now just his dad because his mom died 2 weeks after the divorce was finalized). The ex does NOT like change. But, I appealed to the ex's need for money; there was money in the house that he would get if we could sell it.
Selling a house is interesting. It was on the market for a day and we got our first offer, which fell through because the buyers were asking for a $15K credit for no reason whatsoever. As a result, we lost the house that we put a contingent offer on and my sons were extremely sad. In a few days we had another, more reasonable offer, which we almost lost because my real estate agent, who was someone I knew from grade school and thought I'd give her an opportunity, would not answer.
We also replaced the roof on the house that I sold and drama ensued from that, as well. Things on the job front were stressful too and I regretted returning to XYZ company. The beginning of 2017 was not a good time for me.
In April, we put an offer on a house in the town where Lobster and I went to 8th grade and high school. I swore I would never come back to that town, but my sons needed a better school and a better life. We closed on the sale of the house on a beautiful spring morning in May and then closed on the purchase of our current home a few hours later.
JUNE 2017 - SEPTEMBER 2107
We spent most of June and July furnishing the house and in August, I was completely stressed out about paying the new, larger mortgage. The job issues did not settle down in June or July. But, the boys really enjoyed our new house and the new neighborhood. The ex was surly and resentful, but since I wasn't sharing ownership of my new house with him, I wasn't bothered. By August, the boys were excited to start at their new school - not so coincidentally is Lobster and my OLD school where we first met. The boys had made new friends in the neighborhood and enjoyed the freedom of being able to ride their bikes all over town.
In July, Lobster's mom had a stroke and we experienced our first truly stressful moment in our relationship. It wasn't fun, but we got through it. By August, the bumps were starting to smooth over. but it wasn't until a couple of months later where the bumps would not be noticeable. By August/September, the issues at work seemed to fix themselves. Although, I'm not totally thrilled with my job, I recognize and appreciate it for what it is.
I think that's pretty much it. Our wedding date is now pushed back to 2019 because when I started my journey, it was 2008 and I had a feeling that there would be a lot of change for me. In 2008 I was not happy; I was married to someone that I no longer loved and respected and I'm sure he felt the same way about me. I made some choices that were not the best choices, but were ones that brought me a lot of wisdom in the end. By 2012, I was in the fight of my life and it didn't end until 2015. From 2015 to 2016, there were relationship changes and job changes and in 2017 there were even more changes. 2018 would have marked a 10th straight year of very BIG change and I needed the time to enjoy my life. I want to enjoy the changes that I've made (and remember the mistakes) and sit back and revel in my new life.
I'm excited, SO EXCITED, for the adventures that await me in the future. My life is full and I appreciate everything - my sons, my family, the Lobster, my friends, my new house, and my job. My cup runneth over.